Get Out!
by S. Wright
Summary: It's "Daddy's Free" weekend and Itachi will be damned if his little brother is going to ruin his perfect weekend. Special appearance by Sasuke and Naruto as the two freeloaders who just won't go away.


**Get Out**

A day in the life of Itachi Uchiha.

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Get Out—a Naruto Fanfiction

Disclaimer: I do not profit from this work of fiction, I am just a fan who enjoys wondering about the plot-holes left by the original author.

Please read, review, and enjoy,

Sean

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The last thing Itachi Uchiha expected to see on the stoop outside his brownstone was his precious baby brother and said baby brother's crazy-ass boy friend.

Itachi only blinked once before he slammed the door in front of Sasuke's bruised face. He locked the front door and made sure to turn the deadbolt before he started back into the recesses of his home with the intention of returning to his study and pick up where he left off in George Elliot's _Daniel Deronda_ while listening to Miles Davis _The Birdland Sessions_. Before he could take step one away from door, the knob of his front door rattled once, then he heard Sasuke curse before the idiot started jabbing the doorbell.

"Damn it, Itachi, open up!" his darling baby brother ordered through the door. "Fuck. Open the door!"

"Itachi!" Naruto Namikaze cried over Sasuke's abuse of the doorbell. "Please, you gotta let us in. Those crazy bitches are after us." The ADHD afflicted sideshow escapee let out a testicular yanked scream. "_Please, _Sakura's got a_ knife!_"

Itachi paused for a moment.

Didn't Sasuke have a restraining order against her and another girl?

More importantly, when did she get out of jail?

Itachi was the District Attorney for Konoha County, and currently he was being considered for Federal Judgeship in the Sixth District Court. Therefore, it would make sense that the local police along with the U. S. Federal Marshalls would have informed him if the woman that tried to kill him and his entire family just she could be with his adorable baby brother had escape from jail, while awaiting trial, again.

Then again, she did seduce that fucked up personal trainer, and he's proven that he would do anything to get his "Beloved Sakura" whatever she wanted even if it was another man…They could have been telling him the truth? But Itachi knew better, he knew Sasuke and if Sasuke were trouble, then he would need an attorney, not shelter.

"Naruto," Itachi called back, his tone as droll and mocking as ever, "Your grandfather's house is less than half a block away from my own. Lest I forget that your grandparents' home is a ten minute drive from here." He knew the little bugger had a key to Jiraiya Namikaze's brownstone and Orochimaru and Tsunade Sarutobi had an estate right outside of the town. If the two fuckers needed to hide, they could go to either place.

When there was no reply, Itachi decided that the numskulls had taken the hint and got the hell away from his front door.

It was his rare weekend alone and with his wife out of town visiting her parents with their two children, he was going to enjoy his 'Daddy's Free' holiday with some reading and Miles tonight. Tomorrow he was playing golf with Iruka, Gemna, and Raidou, and then he and the guys were going to watch the NBA Championship at Iruka's place. Sunday, Itachi had planned to finish his case review and finish an article he was writing for the Law Review. This was what he wanted to do and it was what he going to do it by damn it. Yet if he were to let his dear little brother and said brother's touched in the head little 'wife' into his home that automatically meant no more George Eliot, good-bye Miles Davis, no golf with his friends, nor would he finish his article. It would be pure, unadulterated chaos.

Like hell was he letting those two animals through his front door.

Sasuke and Naruto were two university students at Southwestern University two towns over but still in Konoha County. Both were in their final year and planning to head to Europe because these two Uchihas originally hailed from France due to their mother's career as a ballerina and their father's desire to please her. By the change, it was where Naruto had spent a better part of his childhood while his father was served as an US Ambassador. (Dr. Minato Namikaze was now in the House of Representative, Konoha Township, Rice Village, and Wind-Grass City made up his congressional district. How the man and his lovely wife produced _That! _(Itachi's private name for his brother's plaything)he would never know.) If those fools wanted to spend the weekend off campus, then they had three other choices aside from his home and away from his self. There's was Jiraiya's empty and well stocked porno palace or the Saratobi's manor, and even Kakashi Namikaze's penthouse in the in the heart of the city was open to them. Naruto's uncle would love to see them, not that the boys would really want to see Kakashi—It did not matter, they were not getting into Itachi's home not if he had…

"How the hell did you get into my house?" He snapped as he came up cold.

Standing in front of him, looking like they had a tumble in the briar patch and having walked all the way to his house was Itachi's favorite (and only) brother and said brother's insane boy-toy.

Naruto was looking sheepishly down at his blue Converse sneakers, he was completely afraid of Itachi and rightful so. Itachi had been with the US Army prior to going to law school. He was a former Army Ranger that could do some freaky ass jutsu and he studied Krav Maga, and could take on ten guys with by himself. (And he did, when Naruto was jumped by some guys hired by a psychotic bitch named Karin when it came out that he was dating Sasuke. Itachi saved Naruto's life and became a hero the Namikaze/Sarutobi family.)

Beside the terrified blond youth, Sasuke stood tall and arrogant, fearlessly meeting his brother's gaze head on. Sasuke didn't fear his brother. He had three inches on his older brother as well as twenty-five pounds. In addition, he was younger, more fit, and he too practiced Krav Maga and Brazilian jutsu. (Being tall, lanky, and gay in the Midwest on top of looking more Asian than European always meant someone was trying to kick your ass so Itachi made sure that his darling younger sibling knew how to fight back and win.) Sasuke ignored his brother and trudged though house, pulling Naruto behind him by the hand.

Dumbfounded and more than a bit pissed, Itachi turned around and stormed after his brother and his pet.

He found them in his kitchen, Naruto was seated on a stool at the breakfast bar, and Sasuke was rummaging through the freezer while on Itachi's house phone. He was speaking in hurriedly in Japanese to that little punk Suigetsu. Obviously, Sasuke did not want Naruto to know what was being said because the idiot didn't speak a word of the language despite his grandfathers Orochimaru and Jiraiya being fluent in the language. He didn't seem to care that Itachi understood that he was making plans to hunt down someone named Hyuga and beat that person within an inch of his life.

Finally, Sasuke found what he was looking for. He closed the freezer's door and walked over to Naruto with a bag of frozen peas in his hand. He ended his conversation with a quick "_Ja ne_" and tossed Itachi the phone.

Itachi returned the cordless phone to its cradle in the center of the island. He watched as Sasuke knelt before his lover and gently gasped his right leg in foot in his hands. Tenderly he rested the icy plastic against the other man's ankle, Naruto winced and tried pull away, but Itachi's hand on his shoulder kept him in place.

Itachi looked down at his little brother and said, "What happened?"

Naruto turned his face towards Itachi; his mouth opened to reply only Sasuke beat him to it.

"Naruto was attacked by some crazy bitch's cousin because he turned the girl down." Sasuke said quickly, falling back into Japanese.

The Hyugas, Itachi had a few run-ins with some of them. They were new to the country and the area. They were an old Japanese clan in the original Konohakagure back in their native country. Among the few Hyuga that had come over were a young man named Neji, his father, and about twenty or so of their cousins. They were acting like bodyguards for a girl, the family heir, Lady Hinata Hyuga.

"Be careful Kie-kun," Itachi told him, "Those Hyugas act like bandits instead of law abiding citizens. They start shit and scream diplomatic immunity faster than you can blink."

"I didn't come over here to have that punk arrested," Sasuke bit out. Unconsciously he applied a little too much pressure to Naruto's ankle causing the other to hiss sharply. Sasuke cast him an apologetic look before turning back to his brother. "I left that bastard down block with broken nose and broken jaw. He won't attempt to come after either us once Suigetsu finishes up with his retarded cousin."

"Sasuke!" Naruto scolded. He understood the word retarded since Sasuke called him that enough therefore he misunderstood the conversation (not that he was following it before.)

"Retarded, stupid, inbred, you name it that girl is it," Sasuke told his brother. "She seriously looks like she's suffering from mental illness."

A chuckled escaped Itachi's lips as he patted Naruto's shoulder. "I take it that Naruto was ambushed on his way to his grandfather's?"

"Hey, assholes, stop talking about me in a language I don't understand." Naruto snapped at them.

And he was still ignored.

Sasuke removed the makeshift compress. Itachi noticed that Sasuke had the kitchen's First Aid kit out and open. His little brother worked quickly and efficiently in bandaging Naruto's swollen ankle under the blond boy's strict direction. Nothing was broken, it was just sprained, the future doctor announced as he wiggled his own toes. Upon hearing that happy news, Itachi grabbed up Naruto's shoes and bag tossing it all at Sasuke as he ordered them to get the fuck out of his house.

_-G. O.-_

It was well past midnight when Itachi was startled violently out of a rather sound sleep by the shrill ringing of the telephone. He had fallen asleep one the sofa's in the den while watching the _Konoha Sox_ baseball team lose another game to those blasted _Suna Sparrows_ in the Cross-Town Classic.

The phone rang again causing Itachi to grope for it blindly on the coffee table while reaching for his glasses. A quick look at the caller id read Jiraya Namikaze, Itachi pressed the talk button and with a weary sigh said, "Yes, little brother?"

There was a moment of silence and then Itachi heard something that sounded like a cross between a snort and snore before Sasuke turned to the receiver.

"Aniki, I just wanted to you know that Naru and I are at his grandfather's and we will be here for the weekend before heading out to DC on Monday." His little brother informed Itachi while also reminding him of the boys' plans to visit with Naruto's parents.

Itachi grunted out a reply that made Sasuke chuckle before he wished his older brother "Good-night."

With a sigh, Itachi dropped his glasses back on the coffee table and phone on the floor. He knew without a doubt that Sasuke and Naruto would be by tomorrow morning looking for a free breakfast. He made a note to be gone before they arrived.

He was tired of them kissing up to his wife and stealing the food from his poor children's mouths. If they had a functioning brain between them, one of them learned how to cook something other microwaveable meals. It was either that, or they had better learn to appreciate Kakashi's cooking. A pair of damned freeloaders was what they were.

With that final though, Itachi rolled onto his side, facing away from the television and promptly went back to sleep.

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This was written just for fun, and I hope that you all enjoyed reading this.

Reviews are welcomed.


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